Exclusion
As per request:I realize that when people are discriminated against, it makes them retreat into a shell; they become more self excluding and selective like the youth in France we are hearing about in the news. This has happened a lot in Ukraine's history, but the idea of having your culture taken from you, and not being allowed into a new culture is a very poignant idea for me right now.
I got very defensive the other day, when someone said that America has no native cuisine. I got onto a roll (no pun intended, well maybe) talking about turkey, and stuffing, and apple and pumpkin pie, sweet potato anything, grits, biscuits, pancakes, chili, banana nut bread, and I realized that we have just as many dishes as Ukraine does, and that when you add in all the variety and diversity it is amazing. I got my point across, but it made me a bit homesick, and rather defensive. The other thing that really gets me recently is when people are SO surprised that I cook for myself. I actually had someone ask me the other day if I can really buy beets at the bazaar, as if I am not capable, or the sellers might rip me off. It seems so patronizing, but then again, last week I made quesadillas for my classes (for Cinco de Mayo) with quacomole (I had to go to a special grocery store in another town to buy an expensive but good avocado), salsa and sour cream. Barely anyone tried them; it was as if they were afraid...of quesadillas!! I was amazed. I guess if they don't have enough sense of adventure to try a piece of a benign looking dish that I have explained to them and made myself, then I could see how buying beets at the bazaar might be a monumental undertaking.
This was all a prelude to what I wrote the other night:
I write this slightly intoxicated from a Ukrainian party.
There is something very hard about this country, something for which no one has words but which I found this week.
When I first got my assignment to Ukraine, I was a bit dissappointed frankly. I thought that Peace Corps would be my one time in my life to experience life as a minority. Being a white male of European descent, I didn't think that Ukraine offered this challenge. Little did I know.
Have you ever really experienced exclusion? That is what is hard about this country. From several subsequent events this week I have experienced it. From nearly the beginnning of my time here, maybe from Soviet tradition, I felt that Ukraine was a country that you had to ask the RIGHT questions. Without a very specific question, you can't ascertain the right information. This week, I asked the right question, and so much came painfully clear.
I will NEVER be Ukrainian. I can dress in traditional clothes, I can speak impeccable Ukrainian, I can be a member of the Ukrainian Scouts, I can live here for decades, but although people constantly ask me about my interest in these things, and applaud my progress, but they will never truly accept me as their own. I should have known this from the moment I saw a Ukrainian passport - separate from citizenship, their passports state their ethnicity.
This is such a contrary notion to an American, and I think it is something that we all sense here at some level. Try as we might, even though we have left our culture, our language, our homes, our friends, and our families, we will never, ever be truly accepted here.
Europe's problems of assimilation and riot have become painfully clear this week. I'm not sure I have ever been so hurt, so casually.
posted by jjs @ 8:10 AM
1 Comments:
You can never be accepted by everyone. And I think it's the same either here or in US. Here people at least don’t pretend they are your friends (not all, but most of them). And when I was in US it was like that all over. People would ask me questions not even caring if I reply or not and mostly not listening to what I would say.
John, you seem to worry about little things too much. Yea, I know it kind of hurts, but do you think that if I would go to US I would be truly accepted there? I don’t think so. It’s the cruel reality of life.
I’m curious, were you accepted in Italy when you worked there?
And who do you want to be accepted here by? Ordinary people on the street? Your friends? Neighbors? People you work with?
Are you always accepted in US though? There are always people who make you feel like you don’t belong.
And what was the question you asked?
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