Long time, no write
So I have determined that my current spiritual health is directly and inversely proportional to how often I write on my blog. I have not decided if this is a good or bad thing, but it seems to be true, with a small tempering for my social support network in the present. I wish all you loyal readers could be as present in my life geographically as you are temporally (careful NOT to read temporarily).But speaking of spiritual health, I had a bit of an epiphany today. I realized that I really do believe that we will be forgiven for all that we ask forgiveness. There will be no judgment of our righteousness, only of our integrity: do we really want to be forgiven? My doubt in the drive to do good under this amnesty, always has cast doubt on the amnesty itself.
Because when this idea is floated, many people have a narcissistic response. Why should we do good if all we do will be forgiven? Why should we try so hard to always be better the next time, when it won't make any difference as long as our intentions are pure? This hearkens back to a question I posed long ago: If all we ask for is 'good enough', will we ever get it?
My epiphany was an answer to these ideas. It isn't that when I am struck with divine forgiveness I give thanks for its mercy, though I do; it is more that when confronted by that power, I want to share in its magnificence. It encourages me to care more, to take responsibility for my actions, to truly 'build the kingdom of Heaven'. I don't want to be left on the sidelines to ask the questions above; I feel inspired to jump into the game. I want to share in the goodness, instead of sulk in the amnesty.
Does any of this make any sense?
posted by jjs @ 3:36 PM
2 Comments:
Yes it totally makes sense. That song "It Only Takes a Spark" is exactly the same sentiment. Once you feel the love of God, you want to get closer to it and spread it around. The cool thing, I think is that you can find it in so many people and places and times. I think its the one constant in the world, instead of something or someplace you have to find.
hope you are feeling better, dear john. i completely understand - journaling or writing always helps get issues out there, to share with the world even if it's in a private journal at home.
*hug*
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