Perpetual Change

Flat Stanley II – The wedding and hanging out

July 15,
We got to Kyiv (the capital) with no problems on our train. We met some other American friends of John and then took the subway to a bus station so we could get the bus to a village which roughly translates as “Glory of God” in Ukrainian. It is about 2 hours away and the bus was VERY HOT!! Traveling in Ukraine in winter or summer can be very tiring.
Peace Corps Volunteers work for 2 years in a foreign country but before they start they have 3 months of training. They learn about the culture, traditions, history and spend a lot of time learning the language. John lived in a village for training, and a good friend of his, Kaleb, lived in the next village. During training, volunteers live with host families and Kaleb fell in love with his host sister. She is nice and pretty and the same age as Kaleb. Today we are going to their wedding. There should be lots of interesting traditions.
*****
WOAH! What a great time. It’s late but the wedding and party were so interesting. First, we all met at Kaleb’s host family’s house. John, the other new arrivals and I cleaned up, and then we went into the yard. Kaleb had to stand outside the gate and “buy” his bride from Lena’s (his new wife’s) cousin – it must always be a male brother or cousin who does the selling. It is like a joke or a play but an important part.
[Editor’s note: in this whole process of mailing off Stanley and photocopying his journal, I seem to have lost one of the pages. I will fill in as best I can: After paying a pickle, some money and a couple of other random things from the small cousin who was a bit terrified of his big responsibilities (there were no other eligible, older candidates), Kaleb went inside the house to be stopped by Lena’s sister with a poster colorfully drawn of all their important dates. In order to get past her, Kaleb had to identify what happened on each day. Then upstairs they did the traditional bread and salt thing with their parents, which I believe I described in the other wedding post, last year. Then we went to the hall for the official ceremony. Lena’s town only has one church left after Soviet times and they aren’t so foreign friendly. They wouldn’t let Kaleb marry there unless he presented Baptismal certificates of his God parents, and they were there. Everyone thought this was absurd, and we think they were just putting up obstacles. So they will marry in a church next year in the States. The signing ceremony was the state substitute during Soviet times. When the weather is nice, they are scheduled one after another. We had to wait for the previous one to finish. Then they bring us in, it’s nice, but quick and we go out the side door to make room for the next. There on the terrace we toast and congratulate.]
Next, we get in the cars and drive like a big train to famous places around town to take pictures. Usually the pictures are just of the couple but everyone goes and there are group shots sometimes.
After about 2 hours of this we go to a restaurant that has been reserved for us. Sometimes couples will do it at home outside or at a school cafeteria. There are 2 long tables set with many places and LOTS of food and then one table at the end with places on only one side plus the cake and a traditionally decorated bread. The bride, groom, best man, maid of honor and parents sit here.
We sit down, toast to the marriage and begin eating. There are very many toasts. Each male member of either family toasts and sometimes grandmas and aunts too. Each of the American guests did a toast. John and two other volunteers did a lot of translating to English for Kaleb’s family or to Ukrainian for everyone else. Then later there is dancing and music for some time and then more eating and toasting. They only drink alcohol while they are toasting, not in between, and then everyone drinks together.
This second time that we sat down there was a competition where one table would sing a Ukrainian song and then we would sing an American song. Chris, one of Kaleb’s other friends, sings very well and plays guitar. He was a big help. Then we sang the National Anthem and the Ukrainians sang theirs and we all decided not to go on. There were other games too – during the party people would “steal” the bride, and then Kaleb must dance or do other tasks to “buy” her back.
Finally, everyone was tired and we had eaten so much so we went home to bed.

July 16,
Weddings in Ukraine usually last 2-3 days. So today we got up leisurely, had a nice breakfast on the veranda and then got dressed to go back to the restaurant. Kaleb wore an embroidered shirt today which was done by Lena’s grandmother. Lena wore a nice outfit, but John said that he had been to another wedding where the bride wore her dress, veil, and everything the second day too! I forgot to write about how they cut the cake yesterday. The cake was big with swans on top. They symbolize marriage here. It was very delicious but they didn’t cut the special bread; that was for today. I also forgot to write about Lena’s veil. There is a special tradition during the party where her veil is removed and her hair tied up in a white handkerchief. It symbolizes her no longer being single and all old ladies wear handkerchiefs here. It used to be tradition that young women would have very long hair until they were married. Then at the party the husband would chop it off and the ladies of the family would tie her hair up in a big bandana and she would wear it in public from then on. They don’t do this anymore but very long hair is still seen as very traditional and very beautiful.
So today we went back to the restaurant, ate a lot more, the parents toasted, and Kaleb and Lena had a special thanks for them. But first the food. They love sausage and there are many types; there is also fresh cut vegetables, cheese, many salads mixed in mayonnaise like potato salad, marinated olives, mushrooms, tomatoes and then they bring hot food – soup called borsht (it has beets and sour cream in it), chicken with piles of potatoes, liver, and “holubtsi” (which are rice, meat and vegetables wrapped in cabbage leaves and boiled). Then they bring sweet pancakes like crepes with sweet cheese or fruit rolled inside. It is all so good! When they bring the sweet things Kaleb and Lena have a kind of tug of war with the traditional bread where they each try to pull off a bigger chunk with only their teeth. It shows who will be the leader at home. They were pretty equal. Then they cut the bread, and everyone takes a piece. On top of it are bread crusts shaped into flowers, plants, rings, and they represent different blessings for the couple.
So then there’s more dancing and eating and toasting and finally we pack up and go home. John and I decided to stay one more night so we said goodbye to the other volunteers at the bus station and went home to relax. Lena’s family asked us to stay and they are so nice. Ukrainians are known for their warm hospitality. They have a big house with a field that stretches down to the river. They have potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, cabbage, beans, squash, onions, garlic, zucchini and lots of flowers growing plus apples and cherries which grow on trees. The cherries are sour but they make delicious juice.
We went all down to the river and had a picnic. We went swimming and made barbecue shish-kebabs. Kaleb’s family got going telling stories of when he and his brother were little and John had to translate them all. I almost forgot, at a wedding often the guests joke that the food is bad tasting and so they chant “sour.” The couple then must kiss to make things “sweet” again. This happens a LOT, plus after every toast, and sometimes even the best man and the maid of honor have to kiss!!

July 17,
The next morning we all got up early because Kaleb’s brother had a morning flight form Kyiv and everyone else was going to go sightseeing in Kyiv for the next few days. Lena’s family rented a van for everyone. They dropped John and me off in the next village, and we went to see John’s host family. We just hung out. John’s brother was the other one who got married and they will have a baby in two more months.
Then we took a bus into Kyiv and caught a ride with the Director of Peace Corps in Ukraine out to a conference site. John had missed the first part of theconference because of the wedding but the 2nd part was a language review. A lot of John’s Peace Corps friends were there and it was almost like school because they go to classes on Ukrainian grammar and speaking.
That night they watched a really bad horror movie in Ukrainian. It was Ukraine’s first homemade one, most movies are from the USA or England, France, Italy, Russia, or Spain. I hope they get better.

July 18,
More classes today. All day. It’s tiring. We did learn how to can jam at one and the movie tonight was strange but interesting. It was about Cossacks. They have funny haricuts. They were kind of like Ukrainian knights a long time ago.

July 19,
Today was the last day of the conference. There were more classes in the morning and some private tutoring time. Then John and I decided to go to another village by the Dnepr River to visit some friends.
We took a short bus and met them all at the beach by the river; the river is very big and there is a dam so it is even bigger here. It was warm and nice to swim in.
At the bus stop we got soft serve ice cream. You pay by the amount! They weigh the ice cream in the ice cream cone and then charge you for how much. We stayed that night with another Peace Corps volunteer and her host family. John had been there once before. We had dinner, listened to the radio, looked at photos and talked till bed. Ukrainians love to look at photos.

July 20,
This morning we got up slow. It was nice to sleep in. We picked berries off the tree for juice and we helped to feed the chickens, turkeys, and ducks. The little ducks are very cute. Then Baba Halya came over. Baba means Babusya which is the word for old lady or grandma here, but it isn’t rude to call someone that. They respect age very much. Babusya in Ukrainian looks like: Бабуся.
Baba Halya decided she wants to come with us to help us learn about Ukraine. Then she wants to go to the USA to learn a bit. Her village is very small. Everyone still farms most of their food and there are no big buildings. There are only about 2000 people but people have lived here for 10,000 years! They have lived here longer than people have known how to farm, longer than we have had bread!
She took us to an archaeological dig in town where they have found the skeletons of some of these people. Then she took us to a museum in the next village named after the Trepylya people. They lived here from 7,000 – 2000 BC. They were the first to farm. The museum also had exhibits on other people that had lived here. Vikings had sailed down the rivers from the north and people like Greeks up the river from the South. It was very interesting and so much history.
Then John took us all to the train station in Kyiv and we caught another overnight train to his town.

posted by jjs @ 7:23 AM